A standard dachshund (dachsund "Zahar", Moskow, Russia) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
As I sit here on my couch looking over at Diesel, my teeny dachshund, sleeping upon a living room chair, it occurs to me that people should be more like animals. When Diesel is lonely, he finds a lap to sit in. He never worries about rejection. He never worries about how people will interpret his loneliness. The puppy never wonders if we love him, or why we love him, or if someday we’ll come to our senses and snap out of it. He just accepts the love that is being shown to him, and saves worrying for a day that will never come. Yes, I wish I were more like that.
When I am lonely, I spend long periods of time wondering what it means. If I should worry about being too dependent, which invariably leads to me worrying about whether or not I am too independent… The one thing in life that is infinite is the number of things you can worry about. I aspire to canine contentment.
I want to be able to enjoy what is without wondering about the future or fretting over the past. I want to be able to post here without wondering what people will think of me or what people will say. So… I’m starting now. I’m going to post what I want, forgetting about every other person’s opinion. Mine is the only opinion I truly know, so… It is the only one that counts.
How do you respond to the expectations of others? Any pointers for me?
Clinical research shows Buddhist mindfulness techniques can help alleviate anxiety , stress , and depression (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Sometimes in the midst of a busy day, I feel an intense need for space, nature, calm… I lust for serenity. Today I have many things to do, too many to count almost, and all I can feel is anxiety. I have no need for anxiety. I am fully capable of everything I need to do today. I am willing to do everything on my list today. It is the waiting that is hard.
I really wish sometimes that I were a different sort of person. The kind of person who finds everything easy. Or the kind of person who doesn’t mind hard. But, I haven’t quite evolved to that point yet. I still want things to be easy. I still want things to be pleasant. I still want things to be fair.
I hope today goes well. But it will be OK if it isn’t because, well… I’m capable, I’m smart, and doggone it, People like me.
How do you cope when you have a stressful day?
Checklist (Photo credit: adesigna)
Lately I’ve been having a little trouble with my priorities. I’ve been focusing a little too much on outward things and not enough on spiritual or personal things. My life has changed recently, and I’ve been having trouble adjusting. I went from being eternally single to being engaged in the space of less than a year, and, while I wouldn’t change that for anything, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been, I’m also having difficulty resetting my priorities.
My beloved is the most important person in my life now, and he is also the person whose opinion is the most important. However, I think I may have actually allowed his opinions to actually supersede my own. He doesn’t want that, and neither do I. In a relationship, its important that both people feel loved and accepted, and I should be loving and accepting myself as much as I love and respect him. It is unkind of me to treat myself in this way and I am going to try to do better in respect to respecting myself.
Am I alone? Has anyone else ever felt this way?
I have found that claiming to be a feminist is kind of a loaded statement. People cringe and look uncomfortable as if you were voicing a preference for raw meat on a hamburger or jumping off a trampoline onto your head to see if you could break your neck. Being a feminist is nothing more than believing that women are people, too, and should be treated with the respect and deference to the dignity and personhood of a woman that is due to any human, as is their right. Women’s rights are human rights.
Does that mean I hate men, blame men, sit around burning bras or whining about the patriarchy? Nope. Men are pretty cool– not to mention cute, useful, and, usually, totally nice humans to know. My being a feminist means I take complete responsibility for my own actions, as any adult should. I need to blame no one for my situation but myself. (Also, I need my bra.) Patriarchy might not be the ideal situation, but its where I started; its where you started. Patriarchy is still the dominant culture. I don’t need to whine. I need to get to work.
I see feminism simply. To me, feminism means being supportive and accepting of women and men who are working to better their situations and opposing any action, program, or cultural movement which attempts to devalue, diminish, or objectify me and other women. I’m not an object. I’m a human being, and, paraphrasing CS Lewis, that’s honor enough for the lowliest beggar to stand with pride. I am a woman. I am a human being. I am a person. So are you.
Don’t be afraid of the word “feminism”. Be afraid of the fear of “feminism.”
As I sit in the modern surroundings at my salon I can’t help but think about beauty. Scientists think beauty is a function of symmetry. Artists think beauty is related to truth. I think many things affect beauty. Goodness, having a purpose, and openness are reflected upon our faces as well as our souls. No amount of Botox can help the purposeless. No diet can fix meanness. Secrets will out in our wrinkles.
How important is beauty really? Does beauty outweigh intelligence in value? Is beauty more important than morality? If attractiveness is not that important, why do we spend so much money on becoming prettier? If it is not that important, why do we behave the way we do? Mostly, I think its laziness.
It is easier to tell if someone is beautiful than it is to notice if someone is smart or good. It is faster too. You do not need to take the time to get to know the person. You do not need to do anything but look. I think its time to look beyond the physical. Get to know people. It makes you prettier.
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